The honeymoon, part 3 0
Tuesday 22nd - Wang Talang, Day Spa & Shopping
We'd decided that today was going to be focussed on relaxing. Breakfast was the same as every other morning which set us up well for the rest of the day. It was a little different this morning though in that we met Lilly, one of the hotel's two elephants. She was 18 months old and Yum-Yum was 6 months old.
Every morning at breakfast, around 8:30AM, there would be an elephant to meet and entertain the guests. The children loved it, and from what I could tell the elephants were having a good time too - they strike me as an animal that likes to have a purpose, in the same way as dolphins seem to enjoy doing the mad tricks at aquariums.
Later in our trip we came across the afternoon elephant walk, where an elephant would wander through the grounds with a keeper and the guests that didn't say hello at breakfast could meet the beast. What struck me as awesome was that I was playing ping pong with Maggie and the elephant wandered past, then came over and tried to get the paddle off me. The keeper didn't restrain the elephant - you could notice that when small kids were around the handler would give the elephant's ear a gentle tug to say "hey, don't step forward and crush this tyke." Instead I was left to battle Yum-Yuym for control of the paddle, which I won.
But I digress... after breakfast we played our first of many games of table tennis, or as I liked to call it: ping-a-de-pong. Maggie smashed me. Over and over again. Without sounding like the most chauvinistic guy on the planet, it was really cool having to actually compete with Maggie, as I think I'd be dominant in most sports. It was a humbling experience getting my ass handed to me over and over again, and hopefully that doesn't set the tone for our life together ;)
A car collected us around midday for our massage. On the way we stopped off at Wang Talang, a massive jewelry store. And when I say massive, I mean... massive. The main showroom floor was about 50m wide and long, and jammed with display cases. We weren't really in the market for any jewelry though we did get a few souvenirs.
After Wang Taleng it was a 2 minute drive to the day spa. Maggie and Ms. Tawan had convinced me to get a Thai massage whilst we were there, and Maggie was getting a two and a half hour treatment so I didn't want to be sitting around waiting for her!
We were split up and sent off to shower and get changed. I was the only Western guy there as most of the clientele were women, or Asian men. Asian guys must not know the "don't stare at another guy's package" rule. It made it a bit weird at first, then I just laughed about it. <Insert homosexual jokes here>.
The actual massage was not bad, though I think Melinda's was comparable. Considering they're professionals, I think I was expecting something out-of-this-world. They did get their whole body into it though, climbing up on me and jamming me with elbows, knees, fists and head butts. OK, maybe no head butts, but I'm sure that the masseuse was a Thai boxer.
I wanted her to focus on my head, which I why I wrote "head" and drew a circle around the figure's head on the sheet we filled out when arriving, but as we later learnt, Thai culture respects the head and they're reluctant to touch you there out of respect. Either that, or she thought I meant something else entirely...
I waited for an hour and took a few photos of the complex. It was basically a hotel that didn't have any accommodation - all the rooms were decked out with massage tables instead of sleeping beds.
I also read a few magazines whilst I waited, and learnt that during durian season the farmers often wear motorcycle helmets whilst harvesting the fruit. Each fruit is about the size of a bowling bowl and is covered in spikes, and because they grow in trees and fall when ripe, if you're hit in the noggin with one of them you'll probably die.
After the massages we went into Phuket city and did some shopping at Central Festival. I managed to buy a pair of jeans whilst Maggie bought one of everything, and still have change to spare.
Dinner was at Chao Lay, the hotel's Thai restaurant. We originally wanted to have some food at Gekko, the steak and seafood restaurant that was on the ocean, but the open walls and intense, monsoonal rains meant we ended up indoors. It turned out great though, and we met a waiter who was the friendliest hotel staff member ever. He was studying marketing and tourism at university and wanted to know all about Perth and Australia.
Wednesday 23rd - Beach & Phuket FantaSea
We spent most of the morning hanging out by the beach, which was way too salty for my liking. As a kid I hated the ocean because of the salt: I'd always try and keep my head dry and had never opened my eyes under water, in the sea. In the last few years though, and especially since I've been surfing with the BJJ boys, that's changed and I no longer fear the salt and love the ocean. Swimming at the beach near our hotel though undid all of that good work as it was the saltiest I've ever experienced. Needless to say, I hung out on the sun chairs for most of the morning.
We had some more satay sticks and beers at the restaurant near the ocean and then retired to the pool for cocktails and more beers.
That evening we had dinner and the show at Phuket FantaSea. It was marketed as a "theme park" but that's pretty deceptive. It's really a whole lot of neon-covered souvenir shops, a massive dining hall and the theatre. Don't get me wrong, it was still pretty cool, but it was definitely not what us Westerners consider a theme park.
Our ticket included a buffet dinner. I didn't mind the food but Maggie didn't trust it. It turns out that most people we've spoken to since returning were sick and blame the food here, so maybe I'm just tough. The place seats 4,000 people and you have to see it to believe it. There was an animal exhibit which had a few tigers, and that was cool.
The show itself was amazing. The opening involved about a dozen elephants wandering through the seating areas and the costumes were great. It was a mix of traditional Thai dance as well as modern acrobatics with some comedy thrown in for good measure. If you're in Phuket then I'd definitely recommend checking it out. The "theme tune" was in my head for days and I bought a stuffed elephant to remind me of the show.
